Storrs Native Compares Poker, Sex In Debut Book

Book Explores The Similarities Betwen Texas Hold’em And Sex, Gives Advice On How To Score At Both

What do Texas Hold’em and your sex life have in common? If you’re like most guys, it’s probably along the lines of a lot bluffing and even more folding. If you are Randall Klitz, the similarities between the two are more clear.

Klitz, a respected underground poker maverick and Broadway musician, has been considering the similarities for years. In his unambigiuously-titled new book, “The Winner’s Guide to Dating: What I Learned about Love and Sex from Playing Texas Hold’em,” Klitz, using a combination of good advice and spot-on humor, makes the semantic leaps between love and poker obvious for the rest of us.

The book, which was published last year by the Storrs native, will be presented at the Co-op today at 4:30. A year and a half in the making, Klitz’s first published work, self described as “not exactly the next great American classic,” is full of his own brand of unconventional wisdom. In fact, “The Winner’s Guide” is, in many ways, a fresh look on the all-too-overdone dating manual.

“After the first two versions of the book, I realized that less is more,” said Klitz. “Everyone’s busy, especially college students, and other dating books are way too serious. I kept that in mind while I was writing the book, and came up with good one-liners.”

Each piece of advice is then rounded out with an explanatory illustration, ranging from hilarious situations to downright embarrassing displays of overconfidence and inexperienced misjudgment.

“Never sit at a table when tired or intoxicated,” depicts an inebriated suitor passed out in his spaghetti; “If you suspect you’re playing with a pro, ‘cash out’ immediately” offers us a bar scene where an unsuspecting patron has been buying drinks for a call girl.

The illustrations, done by Muriel Alvarez, who is Klitz’s girlfriend, are absolutely perfect for each piece of advice. But why should we trust Randall Klitz for our dating tips?

“When I was touring [as a bass player on Broadway], I was one of the only straight guys, and I was constantly surrounded by dozens of dancers,” said Klitz, of his dating experience. “Because of that, I got a lot of experience with dating girls.”

Although the charismatic rounder has since settled down, worn down by life on the road, his new career as game guru is certainly blossoming. After a year on the market, “The Winner’s Guide” has seen success with college students, bachelors and even hip parents looking for a good gift.

To conclude our interview, I asked Klitz what he thought the sexual equivalent of a royal flush was, and his answer pretty much sums up the overall vibe of the book: “I’d definitely say an awesome threesome down by the beach with some daiquiris, in Aruba.”

Today’s signing, which will be held at 4:30 in the main room of the Co-op, features a presentation by Klitz about the book, and promises to be a good time for all. Remember, you can’t choose the hand you’re dealt, but with a little help from Randall Klitz, you may not have to choose to deal with your hand.

Written by Tom Crosby

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